No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
