well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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