There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
