weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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