I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
honey bunches of taint.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
