They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
worst night to have a conscience
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
