Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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