why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I believe in your delicious
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
