talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
