i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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