Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
