It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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