just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
