I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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