I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
