I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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