Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
