ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize