just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
