So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
