dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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