check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
