I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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