be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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