five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
