I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
