why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
