I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We left the knife in your bed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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