So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
