I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I am morally bankrupt
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
bring money and cleavage
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
