ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
