respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we're so committed to being not committed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
