Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
