What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
