i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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