I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
