Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
