They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
