$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
