i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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