I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
