Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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