not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize