I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize