Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
