You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
