you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
