I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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