i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
