...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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