hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
