tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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