tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
