A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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