She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
