is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
