Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
