can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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