She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just sent this text using only my big toe
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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