What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
