I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize