if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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