is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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