mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
