I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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